


First Bloom

by Snapdragonia



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: /Slaps fic this puppy can hold so much dirt in it!, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:22:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapdragonia/pseuds/Snapdragonia
Summary: "Really, you'll help me?""I'm pretty sure you could figure it out yourself, but yeah," Yixing grins, meets his eyes with that easy sincerity Luhan felt so starved of when he arrived. "If you want me to, of course I'll help, with anything,"-City boy Luhan packs up and moves to the mountains to learn how to farm turnips, milk goats, and fall in love.
Relationships: Lu Han/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56
Collections: EXO-M Fic Fest R2





	First Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the beautiful wonderful mods for organizing this amazing fic fest, my babes for helping me wrangle A Plot, and my prompter... who wanted a fic with an Animal Crossing/Harvest Moon premise. Bless you, thank you, please accept this monster. 
> 
> The entire content of this fic is a messy mash-up of my ag experience and every Liziqi video ever, so let me know if anything needs changing! Content warnings for explicit sexual content, mentions of livestock slaughter and slowburn bullshit.

Looking back on it, Luhan can't help but think it should've been a harder decision to pack up his whole life, give up his company, and move to the mountains. It's the kind of thing people in movies do, but it's usually for romance, or family, or some kind of quest for self-discovery. For Luhan, the decision settles over him quietly, but completely, like a bank of fog settling into a valley until it's full wall to wall. One day he's in the store holding a bunch of spring turnips he's not sure what to do with, bright white and perfect except for the ring of stubborn dirt where the greens meet the root, and the next he knows that this life he's built-- it isn't his forever anymore. It's such an absolute shift that he wonders if he has always wanted something different and his career, his start up, was just a small detour along the way.

For a long time, he doesn't have the words to describe what he knows, so he waits. He adjusts to the upheaval within himself, the way everything in his head feels slightly to the left. He keeps going to work, keeps pulling all-nighters with Zitao to prepare for client meetings and keeps drinking himself into a stupor before each and every business flight.

-

It's Minseok he tells first. It's unplanned, but it tumbles out of him one night like he'd been waiting for it. They decided to go out for once, heading to a bar that will be quiet enough to switch the TV to the soccer match they want to watch together. It's their thing. They played together for years and years but now, Luhan was just grateful for the excuse to see his oldest friend regularly.

"You can't keep this up, Luhan, I don't want you to be one of those people you hear about that has a heart attack at 30 and dies because of their job."

Luhan cracks open. "I'm not going to, I can't--"

"I've seen your medical records Luhan you are working yourself to death!" Minseok smacks his glass down on the table.

"No, I can't keep this up, you're right! I'm not-- I don't want to anymore. I...." Luhan falters, finds the right words, "I'm going to move out of the city. There's this thing I want to try, a farmstay program I'm looking at, in Mianyang."

"Mianyang?" Minseok repeats, eyes narrowed. "You're going to work from Mianyang?"

"Oh god I have to tell Zitao." Luhan's head spins suddenly, "No, I'm not going to work, I'm... Min-ge, I have to leave the company. I'm going to go live in the mountains and farm turnips."

Zitao thought he was crazy, of course. Luhan can see why he'd feel that way, but it's hard for him to feel anything else about it, around the bone-deep sense of rightness that filled him up once Luhan had spoken it out loud, told his best friend and now Zitao, his business partner, what he was going to do.

That was nearly four months ago now, Luhan mused. It'd gone by in an instant. Funny how eight years of grinding and fighting and growing their company could feel like a lifetime, and the four months it took to step away, went by in a flash.

Luhan looked around his apartment and saw the evidence of it. His home office was tightly taped into a single box. His entire wardrobe of work suits squished and zipped into storage bags. Things he didn’t need anymore, things he was free of, but couldn't bear to let go.

In the kitchen, the fridge door slammed and Zitao popped two bottle caps.

"You're out of beer, ge," Zitao called ahead.

"I should be, it's not like I'm taking it with me tomorrow," Luhan snorted, watching Zitao round the hallway into his living room, two bottles in his hands. It's such a familiar sight it makes Luhan's heart clench to realize it's the last time it'll be quite like this.

Zitao rolled his eyes, flopping down onto the couch next to Luhan and holding one bottle out to him, the second ready to cheers. Luhan took it and waited for Zitao to say something.

"You're really doing this...?" Zitao asked, ducking to meet Luhan's eyes.

Luhan exhaled hard, letting the little simmering spark of excitement and nerves and pure determination that'd been growing inside him flare up into his grin. "Yeah Taotao, I'm really doing this."

"Fuck," Zitao blurted out, but he smiles too, eyes glittery and equally determined. It's why they work, how they made it from an idea to a successful company. It's why Luhan wasn't scared to tell Zitao about his decision and knew that losing his place in their company didn't mean losing his place in Zitao's life.

"I'm not visiting you until the summer. I refuse to deal with mud, so you have to come back here first." Zitao clinked their bottles together and looked away, sniffing a little, to take a swig.

"Don't be a baby, it's not like everywhere outside the city is a mud pit," Luhan smiles.

"God you are such a clueless city boy," Zitao said a little gleefully, tugging his tie loose and unbuttoning his collar, decompressing from his first week flying solo.

"Mmnn-!" Luhan swallowed too fast and sat up, sputtering. "Coming from you, crowned prince of squeamishness?"

"My grandparents lived in the country! I know what it's like Luhan! I made a choice to live in the city like a civilized person with modern amenities!" Zitao puffed up, his smile wide at the familiar banter and Luhan could tell he was only getting started. "Have you ever cut open a live fish? A chicken? I didn't think so! You should be asking me for advice before it's too late!"

Luhan just smiled, kicking his sneakers up onto the coffee table next to Zitao's polished leather shoes, and lets Zitao's voice wrap the moment tightly around him.

-

Luhan slowed his car to a crawl, his GPS device chiming cheerfully and announcing his arrival at his destination. The gravel road crunched under his tires, and he looked out across a patchwork of green vegetation, the watery early springtime sun lighting up tidy fields of crops and their unkempt borders and small stands of dark trees that stretch out on either side until foothills rose abruptly into the sky. It was beautiful, but there wasn't anyone, anything, and certainly not the farmstead that was his destination.

"Okay," Luhan pulled to the side of the narrow road and pinched and scrolled around the map showing a bright red pin and a bright blue dot right on top of one another in otherwise empty space. "Okay." 3:37pm. He was already late. His stomach clenched familiarly with the realization.

Luhan tapped the phone number for the farm that he saved in his contacts, his eyes sweeping the surrounding fields again as it rang and rang in his ear. He waited for the click of the voicemail but instead there was a loud tapping against his window. Luhan shrieked, his phone flying onto the dashboard as he recoiled from the window. "Wh-what the fuck!"

A bored looking teenager was watching him from his seat on a dirt bike, brows raised disdainfully. Luhan collected his breath, then, hands trembling, his phone too. The boy tapped at his window again and Luhan straightened in his seat, arranging a smile on his face before pressing the button. His window lowered with a quiet purr between them.

"Hey, sorry about that, what's--"

"You lost?" The boy cut him off, flicking his ruffled bangs out of his eyes, the teenaged surliness rolling off him in waves.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes," Luhan squinted, letting the smile slip off his face. He was already late and lost, and this whole move was supposed to be about getting away from stress.

The boy laughed, his rubber-boot slipping off the peg of his bike so he was balanced over it. "Oh okay, well since it's not my business, you definitely aren't the person Yixing-ge sent me to pick up then,"

"Yixing?" Luhan's sour mood dissipated at the sound of the name and he leaned in hopefully, "You know Zhang Yixing?"

"Yeah, why else would I be chasing you down," The boy rolled his eyes impressively, but he smiled a little too. "He sent me to get you, since the GPS always messes up the directions."

"Oh thank god, I'm Luhan," Luhan beamed in relief, reaching a hand awkwardly out the window out of pure reflex on introducing himself.

"Wang Yibo," He looked a little embarrassed as he gripped Luhan's hand briefly. "Just follow me, okay? And try to avoid the potholes, I do not want to have to pull your little city car out of one."

"Okay," Luhan agreed easily, putting the car back into drive and watching Yibo pull a pair of gloves out of the pocket of his gym shorts and pull them on, then he kicked the ignition of the bike a couple times, then he was off.

-

Crossing through the wall of shrubs and stones that enclosed the farmstead felt like stepping into a new world. Yibo scrambled off his bike to push open the broad front gate and waved Luhan through impatiently. Without his guide, Luhan inched forward on the worn brick road, eyes wide as he struggled to take in everything. Inside the walls the farmstead was bursting with life, a patchwork of pasture and cultivated fields stretched towards the cluster of buildings Luhan could see at the center. Every bit of space not occupied by buildings flourished with the bright green tenderness of spring. Everywhere Luhan looked there were fruit trees and vines, spring blooms and animals, and threaded through it all the evidence of generations of careful tending and refining and love.

Yibo pulled ahead of him again, startling up a flock of chickens that squawked and flapped their way across the bricks. Yibo didn't seem to pay them any mind but Luhan waited until the last hen, round and fluffy brown, was out of his way before he followed, catching up to Yibo as he was pulling to a stop in front of a large house.

The farmhouse. It'd be his home, Luhan realized, for the next nine months. He took a deep breath and got out of the car to look. It was sprawling and homely, each new addition of brick and plaster adding a new room or wing over the generations forming it into a bracket around a beautiful wide courtyard. It was well maintained, regardless, the tile roof warm red and the wood of the windows and doors rich and shiny. Vines crept up some of the oldest looking walls as they pleased.

"Do you need help with your stuff, or can I go get Yixing-ge?" Yibo kicked out the stand of his bike, parking it under the eve of a shed near the house.

"Oh, I'm good, thanks," Luhan replied, remembering the suitcases packed into the trunk of his car and eager to pull them out. It was his whole life, pared down and squeezed into a few cases that he could bring with him.

"Okay, don't go anywhere, don't touch anything either." Yibo said, the teasing evident in his voice as he jogged off.

Luhan circled his car to the trunk and began unloading his cases. Was it presumptuous to put them on the porch? Luhan settled for dragging the two cases and his backpack to the edge of the brick courtyard and settling them there to wait.

It wasn't quiet, he noticed suddenly. Luhan had been expecting it to be quiet, away from the traffic and construction and clamour of the city. Instead, the air was thick with the tiny overlapping sounds of the chickens, of cicadas, of moving water, of spring songbirds and goats and things Luhan doesn't have names for yet. The newness of it was stunning and he let himself sit heavily on the largest of his cases for a moment.

"Hello there!"

Luhan shot up, watching a young man walk across the courtyard towards him, waving cheerfully.

"Hi!" Luhan called back, the man's long strides making him feel like he should meet him halfway, but he pushed the urge down. This wasn't a meeting with a client he had to impress. He wasn't even sure who this guy was yet.

He looked about Luhan's age, his skin suntanned where it was exposed around a dirty-white tank top. His dark hair was gathered back in a tiny ponytail. Luhan watched curiously as he pulled off a pair of work gloves like the ones Yibo had worn, and shoved them into the back pocket of his jeans and wiped his hands on his thighs for good measure before offering one to Luhan on approaching him.

"You must be Luhan-- I'm Yixing, welcome to the farm!"

His smile was blinding, warm and dimpled and Luhan struggled to pull his eyes away, a little stunned. "Uhhm, thank you for having me here."

Luhan wasn't sure what he had been expecting of the farmer that he'd be working with and learning from for the next nine months, but it certainly wasn't someone as handsome as this. Yixing's hand was warm and calloused, and Luhan had to adjust his grip to grasp it properly when Yixing squeezed tight. Luhan's stomach twisted wildly and he hurried to let go, worried it would show on his face.

"Yibo found you alright?"

Luhan latched on to something that felt like solid ground, pushing the ridiculous little tingle in his gut down. "Yeah, thanks for that, the GPS dumped me in the middle of a field." Luhan pushed a hand through his hair, getting his bearings back.

"No clue why it does that, but hey, we can't have just anyone wandering into the most beautiful place on earth, can we!" Yixing laughed, giggled really-- and swept his arms out with a flourish.

Luhan looked past Yixing, out across the courtyard, the farmstead, the sky slowly blushing pink with the approaching sunset, and in the distance the steep foothills of the mountains, and couldn't help but agree.

-

Luhan wasn't left to wonder what he should be doing with himself for long. Instead, he learned his first lesson, that idle quietness on the farm was an invitation for work, when Yixing's grandmother came to collect him and put him to work in the kitchen preparing the welcome dinner.

Yixing's nainai moved slowly but surely, and had the same warm smile, easy and genuine, and Luhan found himself relaxing for the first time since he'd pulled out of his apartment building car park that morning as she set him kitchen tasks.

"Lao nainai, is this right?" Luhan called over his shoulder, holding up a strip of eggplant for her appraisal.

"You're learning quickly, that's right!" She smiled, shuffling over with two heads of garlic, papery skins dusty with dirt. "I'm sure even a city boy like you knows how to smash garlic, that's next."

Luhan took the garlic from her small, weathered hands and hurried to finish up the eggplant. It felt good to be busy and productive, even if it was for something as menial as preparing vegetables, and it was easy to make conversation with Lao nainai.

Luhan asked about the farm, about her family and life, and listened carefully to her stories. She seemed happy to indulge his curiosity, as she traded him a steady stream of ingredients to be prepared until they were finished.

"If my grandsons don't get back here soon we are going to have to eat all this without them!" She finally declared, having collected the last ragged chunks of chicken Luhan inexpertly cleaved.

"Grandsons?" Luhan hurried after her as she approached the old-fashioned fire cooking stove, eager to save her the effort of moving the large woks and thick wooden lids, even if he had no idea how to work it. "Wang Yibo is yours too?"

Lao nainai straightened up and threw her head back to laugh, surprisingly loud and delighted. "Of course! He may not be related by blood, but he works the land and lives in my house, so he's family too."

Luhan's heart clenched, tender and uncertain and he pushed the feeling away.

The sun had set and the sky was glowing an impossible blue by the time Yixing and Yibo arrived, sweeping into the kitchen with a flurry of cool evening air, bringing the smell of outside with them.

"Sorry for keeping you both waiting!" Yixing flashed him a bright, quick smile and Luhan shrugged, pleased to see him again in a way that he didn't want to examine.

"It's alright, Lao nainai kept me busy,"

"Nainai! You should rest, let me finish this up." Yixing said, hurrying over to the stove where she had taken their arrival as a cue to begin frying. Luhan wanted to help, but felt abruptly like the outsider he was in their kitchen, watching the way Yixing pressed gentle hands to his Nainai's shoulders and asked, "Remind your sunzi, do you fry the chicken first then simmer it with herbs?"

Luhan watched Lao nainai scoff at his obvious ploy, but still scolded him with a well-worn explanation of the cooking technique. Yixing's face relaxed as she let him guide her into a seat at the kitchen table and Luhan frowned, worried he should have watched over her more carefully.

Where Lao nainai had moved around the kitchen slowly but efficiently, Yixing flitted around the space completing half a task at a time, pushing for a quickness that clearly wasn't natural for him. Luhan wanted to help him, but didn't know how.

"It's best to just stay out of his way." Yibo tugged on Luhan's sleeve, pulling him out of the kitchen as Yixing began tossing and frying, yelping as the oil spat and hissed at him and his Nainai tutted at his clumsiness.

"Here, you can set the table."

Luhan took the bundle of chopsticks and spoons from Yibo with a distracted frown. "Thanks,"

Yibo snorted "You wanna do my chores, be my guest," and slipped out of the kitchen.

By the time they all sat down for dinner, the sky was lit up with more stars than Luhan could ever remember seeing. Agreeing that it was too beautiful a night to waste, they gathered around a sturdy wooden table just outside the kitchen, in the open air of the courtyard but close enough to the heat of the kitchen wood stove to be warm. They squeezed dish after dish onto the table until it was packed with an abundance of beautiful food. It really felt like a feast.

"Alright, last bit," Yixing announced, delivering a carafe of plum wine to the table.

"Do the lights, gege."

"Ah, right!" Yixing sprung back towards the door, catching Luhan's eyes as he watched curiously. "Look," Yixing said quietly, nodding out across the courtyard. Luhan did, and the entire courtyard was sparkling, lit up with strings of lights criss crossing around the edges and weaving around each shade and trellis, tangling in the vines that followed the same path. It was stunning, overwhelmingly beautiful.

"There, now it's a welcome party!" Yixing said, settling into his chair and pouring plum wine into small thimbled cups for each of them. "To the farm, for all that it gives us, and to Luhan, welcome!"

Luhan’s throat felt a little thick, but he let out a cheer, and clinked their cups together, before swallowing down the wine. It was sweet and sour and burned. He savored it.

-

The second lesson Luhan learned was that the day started with the sunrise on the farm. After a long night of eating, talking and drinking, Luhan had tumbled into bed exhausted, not even the stark newness of the place keeping him from a heavy sleep.

Now, he would give anything to be back in that small bed, weighed down by the layers of blankets and quilts, instead of clutching half a cup of lukewarm tea and struggling to follow Yixing's long strides across the courtyard in the low light of dawn.

"Isn't this too early, shouldn't there be roosters crowing, at least?"

Yixing laughed easily, his voice rough with sleep the only indication that he too, had been pried from his warm bed. "You'll get used to it, I promise."

As they walked, Yixing began explaining the morning chores, the ones that had to be done first thing-- before breakfast even, and Luhan hurried to keep up with him, strained to understand what he was being told.

"So you get up every single morning at--" Luhan tried to check his wristwatch blearily but gave up as it was buried under his hoodie, and the heavy canvas coat Yixing had tossed to him on their way out the door. "Ass-o-clock, to milk... goats?"

"Nope!" Yixing caught Luhan's eye with a charming, crooked smile and Luhan felt his empty stomach flip. " _We_ get up every single morning at ass-o-clock to milk the goats!"

Luhan couldn’t help but snort with laughter, delighted at the banter. He skipped ahead to fall into step with Yixing, grinning so wide that the cold morning air made his teeth ache. He supposed he could get used to it, he'd gotten up earlier for worse things.

"Can they smell fear, like dogs?" Luhan asked, only half joking, as he followed Yixing into the small milking barn where the goats were already waiting for them.

The goats brayed and huffed, their white and brown bodies somehow bigger and faster-moving than Luhan had imagined as they jostled one another at the gate where Yixing approached. Yixing laughed, reaching out both hands to scratch at the short whorled hairs on their foreheads. "Just don't startle them and you'll do great, come on, be a gentleman and introduce yourself,"

Luhan shoved down the flutter of nerves in his stomach and approached them slowly, eyes on Yixing's hands and the way the goats were tipping their big heads up to-- to bite and pull on Yixing's sleeves? "Hey!" Luhan exclaimed, stepping forward "He's biting you!"

Immediately the jostling and stamping increased, ears flicking back and noses tossed in the air, eyes wide, and Luhan's heart beat too fast in his chest. They were _biting_ Yixing.

"Shhhh, easy, easy ladies he didn't mean anything by that," Yixing soothed, stretching even further across the gate to reach them. Luhan watched, awed, as they settled quickly under Yixing's gentle touch and low voice. "That's it, no harm done, right?"

As Luhan’s heart slowed, he felt hot with annoyance and embarrassment. He had no idea what he was doing, and hated that he was already making a fool of himself.

"Sorry, I'll just go,"

"Hey, hey, don't be scared, it's alright," Yixing twisted around to meet Luhan's eyes, his voice still pitched low and soothing and Luhan wasn't sure if it was still for the goat's benefit or not, but it froze him to the spot. "Come say hi, only, slowly this time okay? They're curious about you."

Luhan forced himself to swallow around his tight throat and took a few slow steps forward.

"It bit you."

It came out more defensive than he meant it but Yixing just nodded, his mouth pursed in consideration. "They like to nibble jacket cuffs and stuff. They won't bite your hands though, come on,"

Luhan stood close to Yixing's side and reached out a hand towards the tops of one of the goat's heads. No teeth up there. It can't be that different from a dog, right?

The goat flicked its head up, and Luhan pulled back. "That's okay, here," Yixing said, reaching over and grabbing Luhan's hand like it was nothing. He flipped Luhan's hand palm up, guiding it lower, squeezing tight when Luhan tried to jerk his hand back when he realized where Yixing was steering their hands. "It's okay, she won't bite you I promise--"

Luhan sucked in a sharp breath, too aware of Yixing's calloused hand against his and feeling the animal's warm breath and stubbly chin snuffling against his palm. It's nose twitched and explored his spread fingers, which Yixing quickly squeezed together. "See? Not so scary."

Luhan felt a relieved, amazed laugh bubble up from his chest, and he moved his hand under the next goat's chin, letting her explore, startling only a little when she bit on his sleeve and jerked his whole arm closer. "That's not food, hey, stop it," Luhan managed to keep his voice steady as he yanked his jacket back out of reach and was delighted to see the goats looking calmly at him, ears pricked forward curiously.

"They like you." Yixing said, finally pulling his hand back and stepping away from the gate.

Luhan grinned over his shoulder, "I'm pretty likeable."

Bolstered and excited, Luhan watched Yixing closely as he explained the milking process, and what parts Luhan would help with. It was startlingly new, complicated and unlike anything he’d ever done before, but Luhan latched easily onto the sequence and details Yixing had outlined. The variables may be different, but it was no more complicated than the procedures he designed with Zitao. His brain knew how to do this.

"Got it?"

Luhan nodded. "I fill the bucket and feed them while you bring them over and milk, then I take the milk away and you let them out into the yard. Repeat."

Yixing's smile was sweetly dimpled and he pulled the beanie containing his loose, wild bed-head more firmly onto his head. "Yep! They're getting antsy, let's get this done,"

It only took them a couple rounds to find a rhythm, the barn filled with the sounds of munching and milk hitting the pail. Luhan leaned around to watch Yixing's hands work, but quickly looked away, a little weirded out by the sight.

"You wanna try? We only have a couple more."

"No, no that's okay, I'll just do this. For now." Luhan repositioned the bucket of feed he was holding pointedly.

"Okay, maybe tomorrow then," Yixing said, accepting and light.

Luhan pulled in a deep breath, smelling the malty alfalfa and fresh milk and crisp morning air. He'd be doing this again tomorrow morning, and the morning after that, and for the foreseeable future. It made his heart trip and speed up, excited and nervous and soothed all at once. This was a challenge he could meet, that he wanted to meet.

"Yeah, maybe tomorrow."

-

"You're late, gege, and you're gonna make me late for school."

Yixing held open the door to the kitchen for Luhan and he ducked into the warmth gratefully. Yibo was stationed at the stove, hood pulled over his own messy hair and glaring at the eggs he was tending in the pan.

"Oh, I didn't know you run the bed and breakfast service!" Luhan said lightly, feeling pleased that he made it through his first milking and happy to tease the teenager.

"Not talking to you."

"Be nice!" Yixing called out, hanging his jacket on the hooks by the door. Luhan snorted and backtracked to add the heavy coat he was given as well.

"It smells good in here, Yibo, thanks for cooking." Yixing slung an arm over Yibo's shoulders and leant onto him heavily. "You can tell Yixuan it's my fault if you are late to class."

"Off! Gege, get off!!" Yibo hissed, staggering to the side and reaching up threateningly with the heavy metal spatula while Yixing just giggled and grabbed Yibo's arm to haul him upright again.

Smiling, Luhan watched the way Yixing seemed to give his affections with every touch. He brought his hands together and cupped one around the other, the way Yixing had done earlier. He found it didn’t feel quite so risky, somehow, to want more of something that was so freely given.

"Coffee?" Yixing held out a small, steaming mug. "We're going to go over the rest of the day's work over breakfast."

Luhan shook himself from his thoughts and took the mug with a grateful groan. "Oh god, yeah!"

Yixing grinned, and Luhan watched the way his eyes curved happily. "You hear that, Yibo? That's the kind of enthusiasm I want to see come summer break!"

Luhan glanced over his coffee cup in time to see Yibo turn and level them with a sour, pinched glare.

"Disgusting."

Yixing snorted with laughter, and Yibo smiled back, bringing over a big bowl of porridge and eggs for them to share together before they split apart for the day. Luhan was already comfortable here, he realized. It felt inevitable somehow, but maybe that was just what it meant to be making a new home.

-

It took only a few days for the restless, uprooted feeling of the move to give way to routine, and to hard work. There was no time for Luhan to worry, and miraculously, he found he could let it go.

He put his hands in the dirt every day for a week, and then stopped trying to scrape it out from under his fingernails. He spent whole days from dawn to dusk touching plants-- He learned to identify and pull the weeds where they crawl around the tender green beginnings of peas and lettuce and bok choy. He crouched in the long field rows of onions and radishes behind the cart they took turns dragging and gently tucked each tiny, impossible sprout into the earth until his back ached. He took the last fat, crisp heads of overwintered cabbage and practiced using the wide cleaving knives in the kitchen to shred them up.

He fell asleep faster than he ever had in his life, with the inside of his head scrubbed clean like the mountain air around him.

The service on his cell phone was poor enough that he quickly learned to leave it in his bedroom during the day, rather than keeping it in his pocket. He texted with Minseok and Tao when he could, but they never seem to catch each other at the same time; the rhythms of their lives were too different now. It felt kind of like sending letters, and Luhan never thought the idea of waiting for anything would appeal to him, but it made him smile and start his texts with "Dearest" and type out long paragraphs for his friends to read later.

It was a few weeks before he heard Minseok's voice, but he managed to find a time on a Saturday, when Yixing had snagged Yibo to help him with some farm equipment repairs. The two of them set off in Yixing's old truck, hauling an ancient tiller to a neighbors metal working shop. It left Luhan free to pour a second cup of coffee and walk out from the courtyard through the close-by kitchen garden beds, gradually making his way out to the cultivated crop fields and goat pastures while they talked.

"You sound like you're in a tin can, Han"

Luhan snorted, his cheeks pulling up in a grin. It took his brain a second to register the language as Korean because it was just so good to hear Minseok's voice. "The service is bad, just be grateful you can hear my voice, hyung."

"Yeah yeah I got it." Minseok chuckled and Luhan heard his cat mewling in the background.

"How is Tan? And Jongdae-ah? Are you all missing me?"

Minseok huffed and picked her up, letting her meow directly into the phone so Luhan could coo back. They chatted easily, bouncing from topic to topic, Minseok catching him up on all the things happening in his life-- in Luhan's old life. Longing and contentment were all mixed up in his chest. They made plans for Luhan to come visit next weekend, for his birthday, and that eased some of it.

"You sound happy," Minseok said, cutting a silence Luhan hadn't realized he was letting stretch on. "Like-- relaxed."

"Yeah, I am happy, this place is kind of amazing, hyung." Luhan replied, reaching a hand out to brush his fingertips over the fluffy pink blossoms bursting straight from the wood of an old peach tree he was standing under.

"It's what you wanted, then? What you thought it'd be like?"

Luhan thinks of the farmhouse, of Lao nainai and the grandsons that are her family, of what it was like to drive through the gate for the very first time.

He thinks of Yixing, and his heart rushes like clear spring water. He laughs, unbound.

"Hyung, it's nothing like I thought it'd be."

-

“You have just _perfect_ timing. Amazing.” Yibo cut in, when Luhan told them about his upcoming birthday and weekend trip. Yibo’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and Luhan wondered abruptly if he should have asked before scheduling it, if he was expected to stay the entire nine months straight and leaving would be rude.

“Hey! Don’t be a jerk,” Yixing swatted at Yibo’s arm across the double row of strawberries they were weeding, leaving a muddy handprint on his shoulder.

“That sounds like a perfect birthday plan, Han, I’m sure it’ll be great to see your friends to celebrate,” Yixing’s smile was encouraging and sincere as ever, and Luhan relaxed, looking back to his hands as he searched out more weeds to untangle from the strawberries legs.

“Why’s it a bad time to go, though?”

“You’re going to miss planting out the rice fields, is all,” Yixing shuffled on his knees down the row and Luhan leapfrogged ahead of him, careful to stay within comfortable talking distance. “It’s pretty exciting, and only happens once.”

“It’s fucking gruelling.” Yibo snarked once Yixing was safely out of smacking range.

“Wang Yibo!” Yixing gasped loudly.

“What! It is, we worked through the night last year during planting _and_ harvest, even with the Wu and Li and Zhou families to help.”

“We’ll be fine, we’re doing it on the weekend this year, so make sure Wenhan comes.” Yixing said firmly. “Yixuan is finally bringing Sungjoo along too,”

Luhan pushed his fingers into loamy soil to chase weed roots and let the conversation wash over him. If they needed him to stay, Yixing would surely tell him honestly, right? “I’m sorry I’ll miss it, sounds like quite the event,”

“Something like that!” Yixing chirpped back. “You’ll have another chance to meet everyone at harvest, I’m sure,”

-

Getting back in his car for the first time in more than a month was an odd experience. The leather steering wheel felt too slippery against his dusty hands, and his boots slapped awkwardly against the seat, like he didn’t quite fit anymore. He jogged back to the trunk to switch out his boots for sneakers, thinking that Zitao would have murdered him if he showed up at his apartment wearing rubber boots anyways.

He was excited to see Zitao and Minseok, and was even looking forward to the party he was certain that Zitao had planned with their wider social circle. Still, it took most of the day to drive back into the city and by the time he had parked beneath Zitao’s apartment building, he felt frayed and exhausted. Everything about the city seemed to be faster, louder and more grating than he remembered and he marveled that he’d survived it for almost thirty years before escaping.

“There’s the birthday farm boy!” Zitao hollered, swinging the door open and pulling Luhan in for a tight hug. Luhan felt his body relax into the familiar embrace and he dropped his backpack to wrap both arms around Tao and hold him tight.

“Here I am,” Luhan chuckled. “Thanks again for letting me stay.” Truth be told he was glad he didn’t have the option of staying in his old, rented out apartment.

Tao waved him in, taking his backpack and throwing it onto one of the large leather couches in the living room. “Duh, have you eaten?”

Luhan followed Tao into the kitchen and leaned against the center island, stretching out his legs after the long drive. “Nope, but you don’t have to cook, let’s call in. I haven’t had junk food in like a month.”

They end up ordering fried chicken and settling in together like no time at all had passed. Luhan still resolutely refusing to watch whatever anime Tao is obsessed about that week, and getting his ass firmly handed to him when they compromise by playing video games instead.

It wasn’t until the next morning, Luhan’s eyes popping open at dawn, that he started wondering how things were going on the farm without him. It felt silly to miss the place, so he labeled the feeling as “curious about the rice planting” and resolved to enjoy his birthday here and now. Tao had indeed taken the liberty of planning a small party and Luhan expected much of the afternoon to be spent preparing.

Luhan showered, made coffee and was searching out the last ingredients for pancakes by the time Tao stumbled into the kitchen. “The fuck you up early for Han?”

“Good morning to you and happy birthday to me, asshole,” Luhan laughed, “Where is baking soda?”

Tao just grunted and pointed, b-lining for the coffee pot.

By the time they sat down to eat, Tao was awake enough to start prodding again. “So. Minseok tells me there’s a guy.”

Luhan hummed, swallowing. “Yeah, Yixing. He’s teaching me how to do everything. Basically I follow him around all day and help him on the farm.”

“Oh my god so you admit you’re a lovesick puppy, interesting development,” Tao’s face scrunched up with gleeful laughter, tipping back in his chair.

“Shut up,” Luhan grumbled, but he could feel his ears heating up. “It’s not like that.”

Tao wiped a tear from under his eye and reached across the table to pat Luhan’s arm. “Well not with that attitude it’s not!”

It was good to talk about Yixing. After the thorough teasing about his crush, Tao was happy to listen to Luhan ramble about Yixing and the farm all day as they prepared. It forced him to admit to himself how enamoured he was with the man, how the little thrill of attraction that’d shot through him on their first meeting had grown into something more, something demanding of attention.

The thing was, Yixing never talked about romantic partners, never gave Luhan any indication that his harmless little crush was noticed, let alone reciprocated. The chances of him being into Luhan felt impossible, but still-- Luhan allowed himself to harbor his crush, to hold onto the little bit of excitement in his new life that felt full of nothing but endless possibilities. Tao encouraged him to make a move, and while Luhan dismissed the idea, the support made him hold onto the possibility just a little tighter.

In the end Luhan was just as excited to go back to the farm as he had been to leave it the next morning, a little hung over and with Minseok and Tao passing him back and forth for hugs.

The party had been just what Luhan needed, to drink and dance and celebrate his thirtieth birthday with his best friends. The birthday part had been only minimally overwhelming, thanks to Tao’s careful planning, and Luhan was heading back with a set of new tee shirts that looked plain, but had some sort of antimicrobial technology that Tao had explained in a backhanded kind of way as was typical. Minseok and Jongdae had gifted him a stationary set and journal, complete with a heavy metal pen. It was the kind of gift Luhan would have shoved into a desk drawer and never touched again in the past, but it felt different now. Jongdae had even gone so far as self-addressing and stamping a handful of the thick envelopes to the house he shared with Minseok, and Luhan knew he would use them.

When Luhan arrived at the farmstead it was to find large swaths of the surrounding fields flooded with water and dotted with the green spikes of rice seedlings. The awe and joy he felt driving through the gate, however, was just the same it had been.

-

The first time Yixing brings him to the greenhouse, it's springtime in the way that hints at summer, instead of winter, and Luhan's been on the farm for more than two months. Every surface in the greenhouse was covered with tray-upon-tray of tiny green sprouts, reaching out of the soil toward the sun and Luhan feels full with the simple joy of seeing them reach upwards.

Yixing starts explaining, speaking about each plant like a friend, chatting about their preferences and tendencies, likes and dislikes. It's stupidly endearing, even if it should be ordinary by now-- watching Yixing speak, watching his hands work. It’s what they do together all day. Except Luhan’s distracted today just like he’s been every day since he met Yixing. He’s distracted as he stares at the deep, sweet curve of Yixing’s lips and forces his brain to hear the words he’s saying, they’re important. He wants to take notes, he wants to push Yixing against the potting bench and kiss his mouth. He _wants_.

The wanting doesn't surprise him. He'd known it was coming, had felt it taking form in his chest for weeks, and now it's finally solidified into something he can feel, name. He wants to kiss Yixing.

"Are you going to grow turnips?" Luhan interrupts Yixing, impatient and a little too loud and he wants to take it back instantly, even though it felt like the only right thing he could say.

Yixing was explaining the irrigation system, turned towards the water spigot and Luhan bites his lips as he watches Yixing's train of thought sputter and skid to a halt, so he can switch directions to meet Luhan. It's so plain on his face.

"No, I don't think so," Each word was slow and absent and Luhan bites his lips to keep himself from interrupting again. "We do some winter turnips but, ehh," Yixing brings a hand up to flutter it in the air.

"I meant spring turnips."

"The little white ones?" Yixing pulls a face, his nose scrunching, and reaches up to push the headband that keeps the hairs that stray from his ponytail away from his face. "Nah, no one really wants to buy them. Why, do you like them?"

The heat of the greenhouse makes Luhan feel a little hazy, his heartbeat heavy. It's hot, humid and bright, smelling of fresh dirt and Luhan feels brave. It's a dangerous way to feel when you want to kiss someone and definitely shouldn't.

"I want to grow them, they kind of... inspired me to come here and do all this."

Luhan's watching closely, so he sees the way Yixing's face softens, his brows lifting up, maybe like delight. "Oh!" And he smiles. "That's cool, you should definitely grow some turnips!"

"Really? Like-- you'll help me?"

Yixing snorts and steps close, swinging his arm around Luhan's shoulder and squeezing. His skin was sticky with sweat and hot against Luhan's neck but he didn't mind.

"I'm pretty sure you could figure it out yourself, but yeah," Yixing grins, meets his eyes with that easy sincerity that Luhan felt so starved of when he arrived. "If you want me to, of course I'll help, with anything,"

-

Inside the farmhouse, things had fallen into an easy routine. Yixing, under Lao nainai's instruction, carried out the dinner plans she prepared for the household each evening. It was different, eating from the farm, and Luhan found himself looking forward to each meal. They ate what they had, and what they had was usually in bulk. Lao nainai knew how to transform each ingredient into dozens of different dishes, using up every last bit and wasting nothing.

That evening's meal had been centered around a small crop of spring mushrooms that had sprung up in the nearby foothills. Yixing had traded one of their neighbors a dozen fertilized duck eggs for the basket of mushrooms. Luhan was stuffed, but still dreaming about spooning the leftover soup over rice for breakfast tomorrow morning.

After dinner, Yibo and Luhan tackled the dishes while Yixing got the first turn in the farmhouse's big wooden bathtub. They follow suit, washing off the days sweat and dirt.

In the first couple weeks of Luhan's time in the farmhouse, when the work had been lighter and his nerves had been higher, he'd happened into Yixing in the kitchen late one evening. Luhan had been wandering, hoping to quiet his mind enough to sleep, and Yixing had offered to share a drink with him, pulling out a cheap bottle of liquor from the highest cabinet. It became routine, somewhere along the line, to make his way back to the kitchen each evening to meet Yixing for a quiet drink, passing the small cup back and forth. They spent nearly every day together in the fields, but these moments felt different, quiet and easy, and just for them.

It was curious, then, to return to the kitchen after bathing one evening to find Yixing and Yibo both reading a sheet of paper. Yixing's brows were pinched in focus, eyes moving quickly as he studied. It wasn't a look Luhan had seen on him before, and it sent a lurch of tingles up his spine. He took a deep breath and forced himself to act his age.

"Was it the magnesium?" Yibo props himself up to look over Yixing's shoulder at the paper, eyes bright.

It must be the results of the soil he sent off for testing. Luhan had never seen Yibo so excited about something other than his dirt bike and short ribs, so he joins them, crowding close to Yixing's other shoulder.

"Hmm, it's a little low, but it was the available potassium, looks like," Yixing muses. "I guess we need to lime more than I thought in that lower field."

The chart on the page makes Luhan's brain hurt and he squints, looking at each row and column and making absolutely no sense out of it. "Are you actually... reading this thing?"

Yibo shrieked with too-loud laughter, his voice cracking. "What's the matter, didn't pass chemistry, Luhan-ge?"

Luhan sputtered, reaching out to smack at Yibo's shoulder. "I've survived more chemistry classes than you, I can guarantee you that!"

It was new, Yibo calling him Ge, and letting his guard down too. Luhan welcomed it, even as Yibo's barbs got sharper the more comfortable he was, they were good-natured and delivered with a smile more often than not. Luhan gave as good as he got, knowing that just a few sappy words would have the teen contorting with squeamishness and slinking away.

"They really could redesign these tables, couldn't they?" Yixing muttered, turning the paper critically.

"Thank you!" Luhan huffed and gave up on the soil report, knowing that Yixing would explain it to him later, slow and patient like Luhan wasn't, and all Luhan had to do was ask.

-

Just in time for the farm to slip into the full swing of summer, Yibo finishes his third year of high school and returns to the farm full time. The days grow impossibly long, full of cicadas and sunshine and sweat and an endless amount of work to do. Luhan's grateful for another pair of hands to share the tasks Yixing sets them each morning over breakfast. They seem to just come to him, like it's simply second nature to know exactly when the cucumbers need to be trellised and the melons need to be fertilized. Luhan knew it was silly, but sometimes it seemed like Yixing was working magic in the soil, and Luhan secretly allowed himself to hold on to that small feeling of awe.

It certainly seemed like it must be magic, when Luhan tries to replicate what he'd learned on his own in the small fallow plot Yixing gave him for his turnips. He works on his plot whenever he has free time, rushing to finish his chores, so he can spend an hour before dinner trying to figure out each step.

He knew he could ask, that Yixing would happily help him, like he had promised, but some stubborn part of Luhan wants to prove himself. It felt like some small way he could show Yixing how much he cares about what they’re doing.

After struggling for half an hour, Luhan gives up using the equipment Yixing had to break up the soil and form it into rows for planting. He'd even learned how to drive the tractor, but it just wasn't working for him, and the fact of it set a pit of annoyance burning in his stomach. "Fine!" He shouted at the piece of heavy metal equipment. "Useless rusty shit!"

There was always another way to do something.

It took a few minutes for Luhan to return with a manual plow, but his temper hadn't cooled off in the slightest. He embraced it, pulling on his gloves and hefting the plow so the sharp point of the spade was positioned in one corner of the plot, the long handle curving horizontally out to a T for him to grab. Luhan pulled back on the tool experimentally, getting a feel for how much force he would need to use to turn up the soil.

It was heavy. Luhan grit his teeth and hauled it back, walking backwards and gradually, rhythmically, pulling the dirt into rows. The result wasn't nearly as tidy, but it'd do, and the physicality of it felt right. After finishing the row, his breath came fast, but steady. He felt strong, he realized. Much stronger than he'd ever been before.

The evening air was starting to hint at coolness, the sky blushed pink, and Luhan quickly pulled off his tee shirt to feel the air on his sweaty skin. The next row came easier, his body settling into the rhythm, his mind perfectly, blissfully blank.

"Woah, do you need some help there?"

It'd been a long time since Luhan had thought explicitly about the way his body looked. It just didn't seem to matter in the same way anymore. But with Yixing's voice ringing in his ears, bared and sweaty, he thinks about it.

"Oh," Luhan pulls off a glove, pushing his sweaty, dirty bangs up off his forehead, conscious of the way his breath moves his whole chest. "No I'm doing fine." Yixing eyes the roughly plowed rows, the abandoned tractor, and Luhan feels his ears burn hot. He kicks his boots around in the dirt, puts his glove back on.

"Hey Luhan," Yixing calls his name and it's different, somehow. A bit heavier with intention, and Luhan meets his eyes bravely.

"It looks great."

Luhan gapes, jaw slack and stupid because Yixing smirks at him, and even from halfway across his little plot, Luhan can see his eyes sparkle as he gives Luhan a blatant, lingering once-over.

"It looks great..." He repeats incredulously, sweeping an arm out across the plot and then spinning it in a confused little circle in front of his chest. His head was overheated and simple, utterly incapable of subtlety or innuendo and all he could do is pray that Yixing isn't expecting that in return.

Yixing giggles, like he hadn't just turned Luhan's entire world on its head. Luhan's miffed, because the alternative was to panic, and he doesn't do that anymore.

"Yeah! All of it," Yixing's smile dimpled and squished like he was trying not to flat out grin, as he waves his hand in the same stupid pattern Luhan had. "It looks great, Luhan!" Luhan's still not sure what it means, but it can't be bad if it had his chest swelling with pride and something bright and sharp and hopeful.

"Well fuck, alright." He mutters, mostly to himself, but not quiet enough to be a secret.

-

Luhan's never been in Yixing's bedroom. It's alone on the very top floor, up two sets of stairs and tucked into the attic. He'd never had a good reason to be there before now, but he still wishes he knew where he was going in the pitch black of early morning.

The old farmhouse stairs squeaked and groaned under his feet as Luhan crept up them, trying not to wake anyone on the lower floors.

It was a full summer moon, hanging golden and enormous in the sky. It'd woken Luhan up from a restless sleep, though he couldn't blame that on the stars. No, that was down to the tension that'd been blooming between him and Yixing. It should be a relief, to know that Yixing at least _sees_ him, but it was hardly a relief. Instead it gave the whole thing teeth, made it real in a way it couldn't be before, when it had felt exactly as harmless as it was impossible.

Now, apparently, Yixing flirted. And Luhan paced the courtyard under the full moon, aware it was ridiculous, but unwilling to go back inside and lie awake in his bed to think about the way it made him feel. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly had changed, because Yixing was always sweet, always open in his affections, but now his compliments came with coy smiles and his touches lingered on Luhan’s skin, burning for hours. It was literally keeping him up at night.

Luhan's course swerved to round the corner of the machinery shed, and he was yanked from his thoughts by a noise, a chorus of tiny mewls coming from inside.

Kittens. A whole litter of them, blind and brand new under the care of one of the barn cats that roamed the farmstead. They were huddled along the wall behind a few propped up shovels and hoes that needed repair, and Luhan's heart kicked into his throat. It had to be the barn cat's first litter, because that was a terrible place to nest. Luhan worried suddenly about them freezing on the cold concrete of the shed floor.

He got closer, and the barn cat warned him off loudly, a deep spitting, yowling kind of noise he'd never heard before, and certainly not from a cat. It stopped him in his tracks, wanting to help but unsure of what to do.

It'd taken some time for Luhan to understand the way Yixing made him feel. The root of it somewhere in the way he always seemed to know exactly what to do. The way he was always ready with an answer, a solution, an easy competence that made it feel like nothing could truly go wrong, be broken beyond fixing, when he was there. All Luhan had to do was keep him close.

It softened him, made it easy to ask for help, and to creep up the stairs of the farmhouse and wake Yixing.

Outside had been lit up by the full moon's glow, and Luhan hadn't even considered needing a flashlight. The staircase was another story, and he made his way slowly, feeling along the wall up each stair until his fingertips finally hit the wood of Yixing's bedroom door. His heart lurched in excitement.

Should he just go in? Call for him? Would Yixing hear if he knocked? The thought of cold toe beans solidified his resolve and he quietly pushed open the door.

"Yixing, it's me," Luhan called into the attic room, eyes sweeping around the space to find the bed. "Yixing, wake up,"

Moonlight spilled in through the single window and over Yixing's bed, where he was sprawled out in sleep. Luhan could only stare, his breath caught like even that might cause the delicate, silkspun moment to break. Yixing’s chest was bare, bathed in the glow of the moonlight, every hard-earned muscle rendered soft and curved in rest. He was sleeping peacefully, face so open and beautiful that Luhan wanted to watch him like this for hours, and he wanted to shake him awake to stop the wanting of something so tender.

"Yixing, you--" Luhan's voice pinched and faltered as he edged forward. "you have to wake up, Yixing?"

Luhan reached out, nudged his cool fingertips against Yixing's shoulder because in the face of all that skin, it felt somehow like neutral territory. "Wake up you stupidly beautiful lump, come on! Yixing!"

Finally, he stirred, brows furrowing and lips pulling into a thick pout. Luhan's heart lurched alarmingly, hammered in his chest.

"That's it, come on Yixing, wake up now," Luhan coaxed.

"Han? Wh--" Yixing split a single eye open, peering at him and frowning. "What."

"I'm sorry, I had to wake you up,"

Yixing reached out a hand, clumsy and sleep-hot and tangled it in Luhan's sweatshirt, yanking him closer. "Whadryou-- d'here?" He slurred, still frowning.

Luhan couldn't help but giggle, helplessly charmed and amazed to see the usually steady Yixing so afloat. It felt suddenly incredibly intimate.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay" Luhan soothed, putting his hand over Yixing's fist, tangled against his stomach. "I found kittens, Yixing, I need help."

Yixing bolted up, movements uncoordinated and confused by the hand still clenched in Luhan's sweatshirt, how he pulled Luhan down at the same time he pulled himself up to sitting. They're a lot closer than Luhan thinks Yixing intended, if the way he's blinking wide-eyed at him was any indication. Luhan pushed out a shaky breath and squeezed Yixing's hand, trying to focus on reassuring him.

"Everything's okay, it's all fine, there's no emergency," Luhan met his eyes and exhaled deeply like he could make Yixing breath the same. "I just need a little bit of help, I'm really sorry to wake you..."

"It's okay, sorry," Yixing said slowly, untangling his fist and rubbing both eyes vigorously. "Surprised me, what's-- what's up?"

Luhan smiled and grabbed Yixing's hand again, their closeness feeling wrong without the feel of his hot skin. "One of the barn cats had a litter of kittens in the garage, let's go!"

"Cat?"

"Yes one of the barn cats, come on, get up now," Luhan tugged on his hand, the weight of him sleep-heavy and clumsy as he stands. Luhan reached out a hand for his waist reflexively but pulled back at the last second, eyes fixed on the pretty dip of his waist, smooth and bare and perfect where his hand almost was.

"No... her name. The-- the black one? Cat?" Yixing mumbled into the silence, pulling on a sweater and socks.

"You named your cat, Cat." Luhan hisses, rubbing at his forehead. "I feel like I shouldn't be surprised by this."

Yixing just giggled as he pulled a pair of sweatpants up over his hips and Luhan’s eyes were drawn helplessly. "Sorry?" He tossed out, grinning sleepily, sleep-swollen eyes curved sweetly and dimples on display.

"Just come on, I want to show you already." Luhan rolled his eyes and turned away, leading them towards the staircase.

It didn't feel any less ridiculous, Luhan found, to be walking across the courtyard under the full moon with Yixing, rather than pining for him. Their hands grasped tight like they were still creeping down the dark stairway, like letting go wasn't really an option in the first place.

-

The heat of August was different in the mountains than in the city. It still built slowly, gradually becoming a stifling weight that made it difficult to even think, but what's different is that it breaks. Every afternoon it shatters open, the storm clouds rolling into the valley frighteningly fast, and it makes Luhan's hair stand on end every single time.

The first time it happens finds Luhan harvesting the last of his turnips. He'd been savoring them, reluctant to put an end to it, and their leaves were a little scorched by the heat as a result, the tops of them starting to bolt into flowers. Luhan didn’t mind, and Yixing was right-- no one wanted to buy them anyways. As he works the perfectly round little roots out of the soil, he decides to leave a row to bolt fully, so he can collect the seed of the biggest ones and plant more next year.

The thought stops him short and his trowel falls to the ground so he can count the months on his fingers, his pulse spiking in alarm. Three months. He only has three months on the farm before his nine month stay is up.

It hooks him deep in his gut and twists, the thought of leaving this place more painful than he imagined. The thought of leaving Yixing punches a raw, horrible noise from his chest. It makes everything snap brutally, but cleanly into place, like setting a dislocated joint.

He pushes hard, working through the heat, through the rumbling warnings of the storm to come, and has to scramble for cover when it finally breaks over him. Crouching in the well house, he watches the pounding rain turn the dirt to mud and the sky crack open with thunder that rattles up his spine with every clap. Just as quickly as it came, it recedes, and the evening is left scrubbed clean-- cool and bright and perfect.

Soon enough it becomes just another part of the day, and Luhan learns to make his way back to the farmhouse for iced tea and a rare break before the deluge hits.

It's the peak of the season, the peppers and tomatoes and melons and cucumbers exploding happily under the stifling heat. The weeds finally slow to a crawl. They all spend long days harvesting, washing and packing, Yixing running back and forth to market each day. They eat bowls of spicy garlicky cucumbers with every meal, and somehow Luhan doesn't tire of it.

One afternoon Yibo announces that he's following Luhan’s example and taking his hard earned "vacation time" for his upcoming birthday, heading out on a road trip with his best friend who just got his license. The plan delights Luhan and he helps Yibo burn a couple mix CD’s that his friend's old car will play. They head north in search of cold mountain lakes to fish and swim, and Luhan and Yixing find themselves alone more often than not once again.

They have to work harder to get everything done, but neither of them complain about it. Luhan doesn’t mind the extra work, but spending so much time alone with Yixing starts to fray his sanity, wear down what patience he’s cultivated over the years. He knows what he wants, but he worries he’ll break open before he finds the words to say it.

-

“I told you you’d get used to it,” Yixing mumbled around a yawn. “But maybe you stole it from me.”

As the days got longer, dawn came earlier and earlier, and this morning Yixing was tired, bleary eyed and dragging behind Luhan as they made their morning trek to the milking barn. Luhan pulled a bemused face at Yixing’s sleepy nonsense, but played along happily since it was such a role reversal.

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t keep you up all night!” Luhan called out, looking over his shoulder as they walked into the barn. Their tasks were second nature by now, and Luhan’s hands worked on auto-pilot while his spine tingled with the thrill of his flirting. It still felt like a risk every time he did, like inviting disaster, and he waited for Yixing’s reply not sure if he wanted Yixing to take the bait or not. Because no matter how much Yixing flirted back, it knocked Luhan on his ass every single time. And no matter how much Yixing flirted, he never invited more.

“I wish you would,” Yixing shot back, his smile sweetly at odds with his words and Luhan wanted to _scream_. He closed his eyes and waited for the sharp spike of desire that shot through him to dissipate and wondered, his thoughts careening dangerously, what would happen if he didn’t laugh. If he stopped letting Yixing flit and tease and dance around this.

The thing about dawn on these summer mornings is that you can still feel the heat of the day in the air, even when it’s cool and dewy, you can never really escape from it.

Luhan dropped the bucket he was filling and it clattered on the floor like a response and watched Yixing turn from where he was gathering the slip leads. Yixing's eyes were finally clear and awake and Luhan watched them widen as he stepped toward him, his body buzzing wild and reckless. The first step felt like he’d tripped a chain reaction, like even if he wanted to, he was an unstoppable force until he crashed into Yixing.

“Han? What are you doing?” Yixing’s face was purposefully blank, his mouth bent into a stiff smile as if he didn’t know exactly what Luhan was doing.

Luhan pushed forward, and Yixing stepped back, until he didn’t have a choice but to brace himself against the barn wall and become unmovable.

“All this fucking flirting,” Luhan said, pressed close with his hands on Yixing's shoulders. “But every time, you back off.”

It’s fascinating, watching Yixing’s unsure smile morph instantly into something wanting and carefully alluring. “You could’ve just said something,” Yixing whispered, reaching to brush his hands gently down Luhan’s arms. He’s wracked with goose bumps even as he flushed, all of him heated from the core and still shivering. “That was really dramatic.”

He’s missing something, lost in the rush of adrenaline and the feeling of Yixing’s breath against his lips but he doesn’t care. He presses their lips together in a hard kiss.

Luhan’s imagined kissing Yixing more times than he can count, but he never considered this, that it was possible to get what you want, and still be so thoroughly denied.

Yixing kisses him back and his mouth never softens from that smile, his lips moving light and teasing even as Luhan presses forward, chest swelling with hunger for more. His mouth is hot, and Luhan isn’t allowed in to taste it, but neither is he pushed away. It’s maddening, and Yixing pushes and pulls him until all Luhan can do is slump against him, leaning down to rest his head on Yixing’s shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to send you off the rails there, I know it can get a little lonely out here,” Yixing giggles and reaches a warm hand up to brush down Luhan’s neck, like that touch won’t set him trembling too. “Sorry about that.”

Luhan feels like he’s just run a marathon, only to realize abruptly that he’d never left the starting line. He sighs and drops more of his weight against Yixing, exhausted and frustrated.

“Bastard.” Luhan’s pleasantly surprised when it comes out teasing and grumpy, even as his heart sinks to his knees.

“Oh come on, you’ll live. A little celibacy never killed anyone.” Yixing teases, shuffling away from the wall. It’s an indication that Luhan should move, should stand up and stop touching him. Luhan’s heart aches.

He pulls himself together, arranges a sheepish smile onto his face and pulls back. “Yeah yeah, speak for yourself.”

They laugh together and then return to the quiet routine of milking like nothing much has changed, and Luhan realizes with a pang that it hasn’t. It gives him some time to think, and the more his head clears the more he regrets. He knows Yixing well enough by now to understand that it’s not enough. That mutual attraction with a looming expiration date isn’t something he’s willing to risk his heart for.

The realization bolsters him, against all odds. Nothing has changed, for better or worse, and he clenches his jaw in determination, resolved to give Yixing a good enough reason to take a chance on him.

-

One afternoon the dark thunder clouds roll through the valley late, nearer to dinner than lunch, and Luhan hurries to pack up the baskets of plums he'd harvested onto a cart so he can wheel them back to their basement cold storage before the rains hit. He makes the front of his t-shirt into a cradle and piles in as many ripe plums as he can carry back up to the kitchen. It's oddly dark out, and Luhan watches the sky with some trepidation as the dark clouds roil and the wind picks up.

"Lao nainai? Yixing?" Luhan calls across the kitchen. He grabs a rinsing basket to deposit the plums and sets them under the water to wash.

"I'm here, Han," Lao nainai calls back, coming into the kitchen.

"It's storming, I think."

Lao nainai chuckles at him. "You dont say!"

Luhan feels a little tingle of excitement and nerves at the prospect of his first proper storm on the farm. "What needs to be done before it hits, Lao nainai?"

She smiles at him, and it's fond and a touch mischievous. "You're a good boy, I can see why my sunzi likes you."

Luhan gapes, but she doesn’t give him time to question, just launches into a list of tasks. "Fold down the awning in the courtyard and move the furniture, latch all the windows and clean out the gutter left of the front door that always gets plugged up by that old vine."

"Anything else? What about the animals?" Luhan asked, a familiar sense of clarity settling over him, a skill from his past life. He knows how to manage stressful situations and he centers himself in that.

"Ha! Most of them know better than us what to do, and Yixing will take care of the ones that don't." She shooed him, flapping her small hands in his direction. "Now go, do that gutter first! It's going to start soon."

There was a tension in the air, the gusts of wind too hot and the sky too dark as Luhan hurried to complete his tasks. He was dragging the last of the courtyard chairs under solid cover, when a clap of lightning tore through the sky, white-hot and close enough to make Luhan's skin tingle. It started to pour, so fast and heavy that the courtyard puddled up instantly. Luhan turned tail and ran to the kitchen, his shirt soaked by the time he had crossed the courtyard and flew undercover.

"Now we just have to wait it out!" Lao nainai declared. "It's as good a time as any to make spiced plum sauce-- go on and change into something dry. Then we can cut these up."

Luhan was glad for the distraction, glad to have something to do with his hands as the storm raged around them, and he could tell Lao nainai was doing it on purpose with the way she chatted to him about plum blossom cakes and crunchy pickled plums, trying to occupy him. But, by the time they set the chopped up plums to simmer with garlic and ginger and a handful of whole toasted spices, Luhan couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Yixing isn't back yet."

Lao nainai’s brows pinch together. "No, no he isn't."

"I'm going to go look for him."

"You will do no such thing, don't be silly." Lao nainai commands it in a way that Luhan's only ever heard when Yibo makes trouble, or Yixing goads her. "Yixing is just fine, he knows how to take care of himself, and running into the storm after him won't do him any good."

Luhan's jaw clenches tight and he hates it. He hates it. He wants to do it anyways, fly out into the wildness of the storm and find Yixing because even if he can take care of himself, he shouldn't have to do it alone.

"Have a little faith in him, my boy," Lao nainai rests a hand light on Luhan's arm, makes him realize he'd clenched his fists so hard he's shaking with it. "Yixing will be just fine."

They eat a light dinner together, bowls of rice topped with steamed greens and pork, a little well of fresh plum sauce shining in the middle. It's quiet.

Luhan washes up the dishes and warms a cup of sweet wine for them both. "You should rest, Yixing will wake you when he returns, I imagine."

She takes the warm cup with a grateful smile. "I imagine I'll see him for breakfast, dear, same as I’ll see you."

Luhan settles at the kitchen table to wait for Yixing. He hadn't found the right time to tell Yixing that he wants to stay, but feels like it has to be now, before the sting of losing him even for an evening gets buffed out by their daily routine together. So, he resolves to have faith, and he waits.

Luhan finishes his sweet wine and then pulls down the bottle of cheap liquor he shares with Yixing, late at night, like the simple ceremony of routine could summon him home. As Luhan sips his drink, the storm blows itself out, the thrum of the rain slows to a gentle patter, and then stops all together. He opens the kitchen door and looks out across the shiny puddles on the courtyard.

Cat is perched high under the eves, licking raindrops off the ears of one of her kittens. Luhan calls to her, clicking his tongue, but she only glances at him, continuing her tongue bath and leaving Luhan to slump against the doorframe.

The rumble of a pickup truck approaching has Luhan’s heart leaping, and he fumbles to slide his feet into sandals so he can splash out into the courtyard. It's not Yixing's truck, it's big and faded red, but Yixing does hop out of the passenger side cab.

"Yixing!" Luhan calls out to him before he really thinks it through, runs to him and stops himself just short of pulling him into a hug. He’s soaking wet, but whole, and here.

"Hey, everything alright?" Yixing asks, concerned like Luhan was the one missing for hours in the middle of a storm.

Luhan waves the question away with a nod. "What happened? Where were you? Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm fine, it was just the goats, but we found them all." Yixing reaches for his arm but winces and pulls back, forcing the wobble from his smile. “Everything’s fine, don't worry!”

His hands are raw, the palms of them rubbed red and blistered, a couple spots torn open and bloody. Luhan's heart squeezes into his throat to choke him and Yixing hides his palms, folds his hands into loose fists at his hips like Luhan didn't just _see_ them shredded to bits. "Oh-- I completely missed dinner, sorry!"

Luhan's mind spins blank on how that could possibly be relevant, when Yixing is _hurt_. The driver's door slams closed and another man steps out, also drenched, but smile good natured.

"You’d think he’s starved-- Soaked through, busted up and still thinking about food!" The stranger was tall, bizarrely tall, with severe features and his hair buzzed close to his scalp. Luhan's never seen him before, has no idea who he might be, and the fact of it sets his teeth on edge.

"Gege, please," Yixing whines, _he whines_ and it’s a terrible revelation. "That's not what I meant and you know it. I'm supposed to cook dinner for Luhan and Nainai."

Luhan observes in a startling, distant kind of way that his twinge of annoyance has exploded, his insides absolutely boiling with jealousy. He can't remember the last time he felt like this-- not for years and years, maybe not since he was a teenager. It's ridiculous. He can't control his own face as he scowls at this stranger who has the privilege of being called Yixing's Gege, of coming to his rescue, when those are things Luhan wants desperately, and isn’t given.

"Hey, it's nice to finally meet you, by the way," The stranger reaches out a hand for Luhan to shake and it's unharmed, perfect except that it's freakishly large, and Luhan hates that he's unscathed while Yixing is hurt.

"Yixing's talked my ear off about you every single time I've seen him at market this season." He grins with all his teeth out and Luhan feels abruptly off-footed. "But I guess I haven't been given the same privilege, I'm Wu Yifan."

"Nice to meet you, Wu Yifan," Luhan unsticks his tongue to force out. “I’m Lu Han.”

"Yifan-ge grows fruit trees up the road," Yixing says gently, like Luhan needs convincing of something. "The goats blew out of the field gate before I could get them in the barn, and they always seem to find Yifan-ge before I can find them."

"Well, thank you for helping with the goats, Yifan," Luhan says and edges closer to Yixing. "Would you like to come in for dinner?"

"Oh no, no, thank you for the offer but," Yifan grins so hard his face transforms, eyes squished up and cheeks soft, "I've got someone waiting to see me home safely, too, and I don't want to keep her any longer."

“Wait here, you’re dripping.” Luhan calls back, already hurrying ahead while Yixing lingers on the kitchen doormat, chuckling.

“Okay, okay, I’m waiting.”

Luhan sprints up the stairs to Yixing’s room and pulls open every drawer of his small wooden dresser. He picks out the pieces of clothing that look softest, and that he knows Yixing likes to change into in the evening when their work is done. Gathering the soft cotton into his arms, Luhan is overwhelmed by the smell of line-dried laundry and of Yixing. The urge to bury his face in it is so strong it startles a laugh out of him, his stomach flipping, and he forces himself to hurry back to the kitchen.

He’s always been protective of his friends, of his family, Luhan knows this, but he feels blindsided by it now. Something about seeing Yixing’s hands-- after months of watching them work, endlessly competent, and now bloodied raw-- makes Luhan want to rage against whatever has hurt him. Nothing has _hurt_ Yixing though, except his own stubbornness, his own unwillingness to ask for help, to take care of himself the way he does everyone around him.

“Here, we can hang the wet ones.” Luhan says curtly, passing the bundle of dry cotton to Yixing.

“Thank you,” Yixing sets the clothes on the counter and pauses, peers at Luhan curiously for a moment before he lifts a brow, and Luhan starts back.

“Oh, sorry, I’ll--” Luhan takes a couple quick steps away and turns his back. “Uh, give you some space.”

“No, it’s okay,” Yixing giggles. “I just didn’t want to flash you, I don’t mind.”

Luhan’s neck burns with frustration. He wants to watch and he hates this game. It’s not as if they don’t share the bath, strip off sweaty clothes in the fields and he considers turning back around, but it’s too late. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

Yixing’s quiet for a couple beats too long and Luhan grits his teeth, internally _dares_ Yixing to resist his care-taking.

“Okay, thank you.”

Luhan nods. It’s impossible not to look out the corner of his eye, as he warms up leftovers from the simple dinner he’d eaten earlier. Yixing pulls on a soft hoodie over his bare chest first, then thin sleep pants and thick socks. Every move is stilted and clumsy to avoid moving his hands too much. He looks unsure as he approaches the kitchen counter and Luhan hates that too. His chest is pulled tight and he buzzes with the need to make Yixing understand exactly how he feels, to fight for it.

Luhan pushes the bowl of food across the bar counter to Yixing and gives in to it. “Good luck using chopsticks with your hands all fucked up.”

The rush of adrenaline is instant, makes Luhan’s head swim for a moment and he smiles at Yixing’s stunned face. “But you don’t need help from anyone, right? So you’ll just keep being bullheaded and idiotic, rather than let me help you.”

Yixing frowns, his forehead crumpling in confusion. “Is this about the chopsticks or--”

“No! Fuck,” Luhan shouts, threading his hands through his hair in frustration, but it feels like a relief to finally release the tension in his chest. “This is about you thinking you have to do everything alone, take care of everyone except yourself-- why,” Luhan’s voice cracks but he plows on, gesturing sharply at Yixing’s hands where they rest on the countertop. “Why didn’t you just ask me for help with the goats?”

“Oh,” Yixing looks so stunned by the idea that Luhan’s heart aches, strains to crack open, and Luhan gives in again.

“I don’t want this to be temporary, Yixing. I want to stay here with you.” Luhan pulls in a final breath. “I want to _be_ with you.”

Luhan deflates, the fight emptied out of him and spilled across the counter between them, and waits for Yixing to respond. He’s expecting gentleness, because it’s Yixing. He’s expecting to be soothed and quieted and then let down easy, because every last bit of their relationship has been built around an expiration date and Luhan is asking to change the rules.

Yixing stands up, his stool scraping loudly on the floor, and Luhan flinches when he reaches across the counter to yank him forward but there’s no fight in Yixing for Luhan to throw himself against, just pure, steady resolve. Yixing kisses him hard, holds him by the shoulders and presses into him like he’s never been more certain of anything in his life. It’s so different from the teasing, coy kiss they shared before that Luhan breaks the seal of their mouths with a gasp.

Yixing just pulls him closer, until Luhan is arched across the counter, stretched out tight and trembling as Yixing flicks his tongue into Luhan’s mouth. When he retreats, Luhan whines and pushes to his toes to chase Yixing’s tongue back into his mouth, pressing back just as hard, just as certain.

Luhan tangles his hands in Yixing’s long damp hair and the little whine Yixing breathes into his mouth has Luhan’s whole body tingling and hot. He wants to press closer but the counter between them prevents it and Luhan growls. “This is ridiculous, come over here,”

Yixing looks a little hazy as he hurries around the counter, his cheeks bright pink and his bottom lip spit-slick and swollen. Luhan wants to bite it so bad his jaw aches and he has to pull in a steadying breath as he waits, let’s Yixing come to him.

Luhan leans back against the counter and invites Yixing to cage him in with a tip of his chin and Yixing’s eyes sparkle in the low light of the kitchen as he presses close.

“Luhan, I didn’t know that you-- I feel like an idiot.”

It’s whispered between them with so much tenderness and Luhan presses both palms to Yixing’s chest, feeling out the beat of his heart and kisses at the hollow of his throat, up the thick muscled arch of his neck. “No, no I should've told you sooner," Luhan huffs "Words are hard, kiss me again.”

Yixing stutters out a chuckle at Luhan’s impatience, sucking in a breath and jerking as Luhan bites into his neck. 

Luhan hums happily and nips higher, under Yixing’s jaw and when Yixing’s hips kick forward to finally press him tight against the counter it drops into a low moan. Yixing’s body feels like one hot, heavy line against him, fusing them together from chest to thigh and Luhan arches into it, dragging his hands down Yixing’s sides and kissing his mouth. Luhan pulls that bottom lip between his teeth and tests it, licks over the swell of it and when Yixing moans, Luhan swallows it up.

“Yes, god,” Yixing mumbles, rolling his hips forward in a hard grind. They’re almost exactly the same height, so when Yixing starts growing hard where he’s pinning Luhan to the counter, Luhan feels it right against his own hardening cock.

They find a rhythm, grinding against each other a little too hard, too fast but so good. It has them moaning, mouths catching together for slick kisses and then breaking apart to pant against each other.

Luhan finds the zip of Yixing’s hoodie and yanks it down, pressing his palms to Yixing’s chest and sliding down the pretty lines of his abs to cradle his waist and hold him still so Luhan can work his hips in a few tight little circles, gritting his teeth as the head of his dick catches on his jeans in a hot throb of pain-pleasure.

“Please, can you--” Yixing stutters out, voice pinched. Luhan smiles, washed in pleasure as he leans back to see Yixing’s face.

He’s flushed hot, spikes of hair falling in his eyes as he pants along with Luhan and his eyes are demanding even as he begs. “Please, god I want to touch you but I--” His mouth twists in annoyance and he brings his hands up for Luhan to see.

They’re just as furiously red-raw as before, the bloody spots starting to scab up and Luhan has to push down the sudden throb of distress that pulls at his gut. “But you can’t, because you went and got yourself hurt being all stubborn and self-sacrificing, hmm?”

Yixing’s mouth pinches into a little pout and he bites on his thick bottom lip. “Don’t tease me, Lu-ge.”

Luhan laughs, throws his head back and laughs, floating high on getting exactly what he wants. “Okay, I’ve got you,”

Luhan pulls off his shirt, shivering a little at the coolness of the kitchen counter at his back, and rolls himself up to rub against Yixing’s chest. Yixing moans happily and curls his shoulders in, relishing the skin to skin contact and props his arms straight over Luhan’s shoulders, his hands safely out of the way.

“Better?”

“Yes, your skin feels so good,” Yixing mumbles, loose and dazed. It spurs Luhan on, makes him want to find out just how boneless Yixing would get for him.

Luhan presses them tight together again and Yixing drops his head to Luhan’s shoulder, his mouth wet on Luhan’s neck where he licks and kisses against his pulse.

It takes some maneuvering to create enough space for Luhan to unfasten his jeans and push them down, Yixing crowding close whenever Luhan tries to ease the pressure between their hips. It’s needy and desperate and makes Luhan’s head spin until he gives in and twists his hand between them, squeezes his plam hard against Yixing’s cock.

Yixing’s knees jerk into Luhan’s as he moans, grinding gratefully into Luhan’s hand and it’s distracting as hell, but it gives Luhan a moment to push both their pants down to their ankles.

“Up, up, Luhan,” Yixing pants, demanding, and Luhan’s stomach swoops in excitement as he follows Yixing’s lead again. He pulls off his jeans and hops up onto the kitchen counter. He spreads his knees immediately, so Yixing can crowd close again and kiss him hard, teeth digging into his lips and nipping at his tongue as he grinds their erections together.

The counter’s the perfect height, and Luhan leans back on his palms, forces Yixing to trail his mouth down his chest to kiss and lick at his nipples. Luhan closes his eyes and melts into the sharp bolts of pleasure it sends down his spine, until it’s too much and he leans back up again.

“Here, spit.” Luhan breathes, makes his hand into a cup under Yixing’s chin. Yixing freezes, eyes locked hot with Luhan’s before a shudder makes its way clean up his spine and he whines. He holds Luhan’s gaze as he spits into his palm and then leans back, giving Luhan room to reach between them and wrap his warm spit-slick hand around them both.

The slippery heat floods him with relief, all his nerve endings resetting to chase more of that perfect slick friction. Luhan’s too far gone for any more teasing so he works his fist over them both tight and quick, squeezing their cocks together. Yixing’s hips kick up into his fist immediately, shuddery and hard, drawing the ridge of his cock against Luhan’s and making them both moan.

“Fuck, again, do that again.” Luhan manages, leaning forward to drip his own spit down and slick it up even more.

Yixing thrusts into Luhan’s hand again and again, rocking him against the counter and Luhan’s brain slips sideways for a beat, melts, as he imagines Yixing fucking into him like this.

“Luhan, your hands feel so good,” Yixing strains on each word, and he must be close, he’s so _hard_. “So soft, oh--”

Luhan jerks back, a rush of fire pushing up to his cheeks as he scowls, grip tightening harshly at the teasing. “I don’t see you complaining,”

Yixing giggles, airy and floating and his eyes are so sincere as he brings the unscathed back of his hand to Luhan’s cheek in a tender press. “I’m not, I love it,”

“Oh,” Luhan’s cheeks burn and he buries his face in the crook of Yixing’s neck. He still smells like the storm, fresh and electric and sweat-salty. Luhan breathes it in and twists his wrist on each stroke, his mind emptying of every thought besides how good it feels.

He wants to drag it out, keep enjoying this perfect aching moment but he can’t help but chase each pass of his hand, each time Yixing fucks forward against him, until his orgasm crashes over him. He trembles with each wave, twisting and pressing forward and coming all over his hands and Yixing’s chest.

Yixing lets out a broken, punched out groan, his hips stilling and Luhan rushes to make up for the lost friction, gripping Yixing’s cock properly and jerking him. It’s luxuriously slick now, with Luhan’s come, and each slide is easy and it takes no time at all for Yixing to tip forward, jerking as Luhan milks each pulse of come from him.

Luhan spreads his knees wider, wanting to be as close as possible. He’s jittery and hazy both, his ears muffled and breathing hard while he comes down. Yixing laughs a little when he seals their mouths back together, just to breathe each other's air a little closer, sneak his tongue out to lap at Yixing’s lips.

“Good?” Yixing asks, once his breath has slowed down. “You okay?”

“Yeah, really good, just--” Luhan wraps his legs around Yixing’s hips and nudges him down with him as Luhan lays back across the countertop.

Yixing groans on the way down, adjusting them so he can rest on his forearms, Luhan’s head cradled between. “Better?”

Luhan stretches out, arching his back and wincing when it pops. “Perfect.”

They giggle together, hushed and tired, trading small kisses and words until Yixing’s leg starts to go numb and they have to break apart.

“We’re too old for that kind of shit, next time I’m taking you to bed.” Yixing grumbles happily. He wets a washcloth at the kitchen sink and brings it back to Luhan.

It’s a bit surreal to watch him like this, naked and perfectly at ease, talking about a _next time_ like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I’d take it anywhere, but a bed does sound nice.”

Yixing snorts loudly, smiling at Luhan so openly, playfully wanting that it makes him shiver. “Careful what you say, Gege, or I’ll take you up on it.”

-

When they both tumbled out of Yixing’s attic bedroom the next morning, running far behind schedule, Lao nainai barely gave them a second glance. She just turned to finish folding up the big savory crepes she was packing for them.

“There’s nothing so stubborn on this earth that a summer storm can’t shake it loose,” She said fondly, delivering their breakfasts and shooing them out the door to get to their waiting work. “Not even you two.”

Life on the farm marched on unchanged, and yet everything was finally, blissfully different. Luhan found himself scrambling to keep up with Yixing like he had at the beginning, distracted and lovesick as he relearned how to not kiss him at every urge, now that he knew what Yixing tasted like. His restraint was mainly for Yibo’s benefit, who had seemed unphased at first, but ended up bolting at the first sign of affections between Yixing and Luhan and refusing to come back to finish his work.

So Luhan spent the next month working harder than he could ever remember, and finding all the secluded corners of the farmstead that he could lure Yixing into. It wasn’t easy to pull Yixing away from their work, but Luhan was persistent and cultivated a library of Yixing’s weaknesses, so he managed it more often than not.

As the days began falling shorter, the rice harvest loomed ahead and Luhan found Yixing more and more often frozen in place, staring out across the rice field, watching the clouds. It was delicate, Luhan learned, and risky, timing a fall grain harvest like this. The heavy rains of that night in August had nearly ruined the whole crop and it might not withstand another deluge. So they prayed for hot weather, even as the morning air started to crisp up and the heat of the sun on Luhan’s skin felt somehow farther away. The weight of it was obvious on Yixing’s shoulders.

It wasn’t until Yixing finally scheduled the harvest, calling around to the handful of families in the valley that work the rice fields together, that Luhan put his foot down. Habits are hard to break, but they did it together, learning to accept help, and learning to talk about it. By the time the harvest came around it felt natural as breathing to work by Yixing’s side, and when Yibo twisted an ankle under the weight of the sacks full of raw grain, exhausted after pushing ten hours of hard work but nowhere near done, Yixing looked to Luhan for help without a second thought.

-

After the rice harvest and after the autumn moon festival, finally, things start to slow down. Time stretches out lazy and easy for the first time since Luhan moved to the farm nine months ago, maybe since his childhood. It was eerie some days, almost too quiet-- especially when Yibo returned to school for his last year.

It seemed to melt Yixing though, relaxing his shoulders in a way Luhan hadn’t known was possible outside of the wide wooden bath, or the bed they shared.

“What do you think about doing winter turnips?” Luhan asked, reaching across Yixing’s lap to pull a leftover mooncake from the little picnic box they’d packed for their hike.

“Do you even like turnips?” Yixing asked, real curiosity on his face as he bit into a ripe persimmon.

They’d climbed up into the foothills beyond the farmstead, taking the afternoon off together. They hiked upwards, sweating in the gentle autumn sun, until they reached a rocky lookout to settle on and unpack their lunch.

Luhan hummed thoughtfully, chewing. “No, they’re kind of gross, aren’t they,”

Yixing reached out to nudge Luhan’s hand with his own. “Kind of like a radish, but bad.”

“They’re so cute though,” Luhan sighed, looking out across the whole of the valley. From afar each field and pasture was knitted together into a patchwork of greens and yellows and oranges. Part of him hated the change in season, how all the growing seemed to stop overnight, but it was a petulant kind of displeasure that he kept to himself. It was easy, when the valley was lit up golden and beautiful with the changing leaves.

“What about white strawberries then, they’re cute like turnips but also delicious.”

Yixing’s voice pulled Luhan from his thoughts and he found himself grinning, his throat a little tight with the burst of love that rockets through him. He pushes himself up from lounging to catch Yixing’s mouth in a short, hard kiss, so all that love has somewhere to go.

“I didn’t know strawberries got you so excited but I’ll take that as a yes,” Yixing giggled, pressing a few kisses of his own to Luhan’s lips and cheek.

“They sound cute, let’s grow a ton next year.” Luhan leaned back onto his elbows and looked out across the valley. He could pick out the red roof of the farmstead, of their home, and the bubble of happiness in his chest threatened to overwhelm him. He knew now, this was his forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This fic is a long ass love letter to my twin flames, the dirt and Yixing. I had so much fun writing this even though it's so different than my usual sobs, please let me know what you think!


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